The Portal has evacuated most of the unhappy brothers and sisters who are now in flesh upon this planet. As hard as it is to survive in this jungle, I am determined to live in peace, and think and breathe light and throw this shining white light upon all who have have crossed my path one way or another in this life and in the past. No encounter is by chance, even painful ones.
The key is Personal Transformation, and it is not as simple as it sounds. One of the first steps is determination, slowly but surely confronting yourself in daily meditations. Admit at least to yourself what it is in your attitude that is unhealthy. Recognize you dislike people whose faults reflect your own, and analyze what and how it can be changed. Each step forward is a victory, almost like an AA meeting when each day without drinking is a mark. Except that we are still very much imperfect and live in a world of atonement... we are bound to fall back a couple of times. What we cannot allow is to fall back all the way as if we were an AA follower back to being a drunken addict. Here is an excerpt from The Gospel Explained By the Spiritist Doctrine on the subject:
"There are two kinds of suffering on earth; or, if you prefer, our trials have their origin in two different sources. The first kind has its cause in present-day life; the second arises from causes outside the present life.
In considering the troubles of earthly life, it is evident that a great number of them arethe consequence of a person's own attitudes and actions. Many of us flounder because of our faults - victimized by our thoughtlessness, arrogance, and ambition. Many of us destroy ourselves through lack of discipline and perserverance, and through bad conduct and an inability to control our own desires. Likewise many marriages turn sour simply because they are built not by the heart, but by partners' calculating self-interest and vanity. So many disagreements and disastrous hostilities could be avoided with the help of a little restraint and more tolerance. In the same way, how many illnesses and diseases result from overindulgence and abuses of all sorts?
Families, particularly, pay a price for these failures. Parents find they are disappointed in their children because they didn't intervene early enough to overcome their children's harmful impulses. In spoiling or neglecting their children, these parents let the seeds of pride, selfishness, and foolish conceit take root in them, so that their hearts became dried and shriveled. Later on, when parents start reaping what they had sown, they will be surprised and at the indifference and lack of gratitude their children show them.
We ask each of you who has experienced heartaches because of disappointments and losses to study your own consciences closely, going back, step by step, to the origins of each problem that is causing you pain. More likely than not, most will be able to say: If I had done, or not done, such and such thing, I wouldn't be where I am today.
Who is, in such cases, responsible for the sufferings if not the person who suffers? In most cases, men and women are the architects of their own troubles. Yet rather than admit this fact, they usually find it easier and less humiliating to their egos to blame their troubles on fate, God, bad luck, or even on an unlucky star. However, this 'unlucky star' is actually no more than their own carelessness.
When we consider life's problems, we find that this kind of suffering makes up the greatest part of our problems. Only when we make the commitment to work at SELF-TRANSFORMATION, raising ourselves both morally and intellectually, will we be able to avoid suffering of this kind." (Chapter 5:4 Present Causes of Suffering)
It's no walk in the park, I'll tell you that much. I am a far cry from being a quarter of the steps up the proverbial Jacob's ladder, but the enormous amount of effort I have put in to achieve a little transformation has made me happier than I have ever been. I had been temporarily blessed with relative wealth, and then came an avalanche of ups and downs that put a toll on my nerves and my trust in Humanity. Personal transformation led me to understand that a) I own nothing knowing that earthly goods are ephemeral, and also that I own no one; b) no one owns me; c) God is a Father of Light and Love, not one of vengeance; d)I am capable of confronting my own faults without diminishing myself - I am responsible for who I am and my own evolution; e) I can help others many times unbeknownst to them, and not expect anything in return; f) I am capable of learning and retaining valuable information that helps in stressful times, thus I keep an even temper for the most part; g) and not lastly, but should suffice for today, I have managed to be more forgiving.For the first time in years I am able to quiet my thoughts and sad memories during meditation/prayers, during which I can now include the names of people I once devoted bitter anger and hatred, and truly ask for their safety, enlightenment and understanding of what should and should not have happened - similar conclusions I have finally made. My late father, my estranged sister, and a man I had sworn never to forgive until our dying day and beyond. The first one is in the spirtual plane although perhaps not a happy one. The other two I feel we are not apt to make amends in this lifetime if we ever meet face to face, but I sincerely hope transformation occurs enough in all of us for it to happen in another life. I fervently wish that we all can progress and be able, sooner rather than later, leave this planet of atonement and return to inhabit a better one. One where beauty is what is within, where love is understood as fraternity and not to be confused with sexual desire alone or short-lived passion, where peace is a given and grace is more than a woman's name. And so let it be, and so it will!
Peace always,
B
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